Pannus

Bad Nightmare

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It is about 3:00 am and I just had a really bad nightmare that was very much related to getting the results of the CT Scan. I don’t know why I am letting this get to me so much. In my heart I know that I am not going to get good news today and that I have to accept that surgery on the Pannus/Hernia what ever the f’ this thing is and I need to hope I can find another option.

Doctor Visit Update

My doctor's visit did not go very well yesterday, but it could have been worse. The doctor believes that it is a hernia, but said that it would most likely kill me to do the surgery.

However, unlike other doctors, he did order an ultrasound, something I have been asking doctors to do for two years.  He also has two other doctors that he is thinking about referring me to based on what the ultrasound shows. One that is an expert on hernias and the other should be able to fix my gastric bypass. I did find it funny that he laughed when I told him who did my gastric bypass years ago. He also told me that she has apparently lost her license. That I am not surprised about. That I am not surprised to hear.

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This may be a real bad day.

This is my second attempt to write this post. Hopefully this time it will not vanish.

I did not sleep well last night, in part because of pain in my right knee, something I really need to talk about at some point, but mostly because I am so stressed about today's doctors' appointment I feel like I have a million things going through my head all at once. If you live north of Chicago and you hear a large boom it may be my head exploding from the stress.

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I even thought about downloading a friends meditation app to help me relax, but sadly he only has an iOS version at this time and I am using Android.

I guess I should explain why I am going to the doctor today. I am planning on adding a page to this site to explain my many health problems, but it is going to be a few days before I can do that. 

Let me try a simple version. I'm going to see a surgeon, because I have a very large growth in my groin area, very large. Doctors have guessed it is around 85 lbs (38 kg) and they have called it many things including a pannus, a hernia, and even one called it a tumor.  However, because I am extremely morbidly obese I am unable to get the tests needed to find out what it is.

The pannus ( I will use the term for now ) has caused great difficulty for me. It makes it very difficult for me to walk and most likely caused my knee injury. I can't sit for very long without a lot of pain and lying down really is not much better. Finding clothes that fit is almost impossible, I have one pair of pants I can we're outside of the house.

However, the worst thing is that I keep getting wounds on the pannus that I think are caused by skin stretching from the weight of the pannus. Two years ago this month one of the wounds, which I did not even know I had, went septic and almost killed me. The ICU doctor said that I was within hours of death. I ended up spending three months in the hospital, because of the septic infection. I had to learn to walk again and it took over a year for the wound to fully heal.

While I was in the hospital a surgeon said he could remove it. I was even taking in to surgery and put under, but when I woke they had done nothing.  Apparently they got worried they would kill me with the surgery.

I have spent two years trying to find a doctor to help with this and today I go and see a another surgeon that I hope will help me remove this thing or at least point me in the right direction to get it done.

I have lost almost 100 lbs in the last year, but this thing keeps getting bigger.