This may be a real bad day.

This is my second attempt to write this post. Hopefully this time it will not vanish.

I did not sleep well last night, in part because of pain in my right knee, something I really need to talk about at some point, but mostly because I am so stressed about today's doctors' appointment I feel like I have a million things going through my head all at once. If you live north of Chicago and you hear a large boom it may be my head exploding from the stress.


I even thought about downloading a friends meditation app to help me relax, but sadly he only has an iOS version at this time and I am using Android.

I guess I should explain why I am going to the doctor today. I am planning on adding a page to this site to explain my many health problems, but it is going to be a few days before I can do that. 

Let me try a simple version. I'm going to see a surgeon, because I have a very large growth in my groin area, very large. Doctors have guessed it is around 85 lbs (38 kg) and they have called it many things including a pannus, a hernia, and even one called it a tumor.  However, because I am extremely morbidly obese I am unable to get the tests needed to find out what it is.

The pannus ( I will use the term for now ) has caused great difficulty for me. It makes it very difficult for me to walk and most likely caused my knee injury. I can't sit for very long without a lot of pain and lying down really is not much better. Finding clothes that fit is almost impossible, I have one pair of pants I can we're outside of the house.

However, the worst thing is that I keep getting wounds on the pannus that I think are caused by skin stretching from the weight of the pannus. Two years ago this month one of the wounds, which I did not even know I had, went septic and almost killed me. The ICU doctor said that I was within hours of death. I ended up spending three months in the hospital, because of the septic infection. I had to learn to walk again and it took over a year for the wound to fully heal.

While I was in the hospital a surgeon said he could remove it. I was even taking in to surgery and put under, but when I woke they had done nothing.  Apparently they got worried they would kill me with the surgery.

I have spent two years trying to find a doctor to help with this and today I go and see a another surgeon that I hope will help me remove this thing or at least point me in the right direction to get it done.

I have lost almost 100 lbs in the last year, but this thing keeps getting bigger.