I hate not knowing makes it hard to focus

I have a lot of projects that I need to work on and even more that I want to work on, but my health issues make it very difficult for me to work on them. I can’t sit for very long before I really start hurting and after an hour or so the pain becomes unbearable. To reduce the pain I need to step away from the project for a while and put my legs up which makes me lose focus on the project and when I return to it I feel lost.

What is making things even worse right now is not knowing what is going on. I have no idea if the doctors are going to go forward with the surgery planning while I try to work things out financially. I am trying to clear this from my head and focus on working, but it is almost impossible.

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The only thing that is keeping me from going completely off the edge right now is my dog. Kit knows something is wrong and she is right at my side trying to comforter me. If fact right now I am trying to type this last paragraph one handed, because she will not give me my right hand back.

God I love this dog.